According to 2016 study, what millennials fear most is loneliness. We are under threat of joblessness, homelessness, and actual terrorism and yet, we are most afraid of never finding love.
So on Valentine’s Day, we turn to Tinder, OkCupid, Coffee Meets Bagel, or Happn. We resort to dating apps because it is apparently the most common way people meet nowadays. After all, what is the worst that could happen on dating apps to ruin your Valentine’s Day?
Meeting Potential Ars*holes
Because of the way dating apps are set up, there is no way of knowing what the person on the other end is really like. You might be searching for a connection, but he might just want a hookup on Valentine’s Day. Or maybe she’s secretly married with children. Who knows? You certainly won’t until he or she blocks your number the day after.
There’s also a high chance they you’d meet someone who isn’t going to settle down with a single partner. Since dating apps provide a veritable pool of potential dates, the person you meet might be constantly looking out for a ‘better’ option. And honestly, why would you want to date someone who thinks they can do better?
Draining Your Hope in the Dating Pool
Sometimes, by chance, no one you see in the dating app is your type. Some photos are attractive but there’s something off about the profile. Like an inappropriate bathroom selfie or a racist comment in their bio. And the more you swipe left, the more you scroll down, the less hopeful you begin to feel about the available fish in the sea. What if all the good people are taken? What if you missed out?
In contrast, what if you find loads of people you would like to go on a date with, but none of them have matched with you? And then comes the flood of questions that no one, not even your smartest friends, can answer: what is wrong with these people? Can’t they see how awesome you are? Or maybe there’s something wrong with you. Why doesn’t anyone want to match with you?
What follows is a downward spiral of battered self-esteem that will result in a quiet evening in on Valentine’s day with a tub of comfort food and a feel-good movie when you should be out partying because you’re single and ready to mingle.
Ending up Dating Someone You Don’t Want To
Perhaps you’ve started your dating app endeavours early and you’re all set with a companion for Valentine’s Day. Unfortunately, this person isn’t someone you enjoy dating.
It’s more common than you might think. According to sexologist Dr. Logan Levkoff, the main factors of matching with someone over a dating app are attraction and sexual chemistry. Those are great for a first date but insufficient for sustaining a long-term relationship. Dr. Levkoff has also observed that many of us fail to voice out what we want in a relationship, whether it be more sex, more emotional intimacy, or even a breakup.
So maybe you’re dating someone you have no strong feelings for but it’s easier to continue than to break up. Odds are your Valentine’s Day celebrations are going to be lacklustre. Unless you who enjoy the irony of celebrating romance despite the utter dearth of it in your own relationship.
Research has shown that using Tinder and similar dating apps may cause you to be less comfortable in your own body. Because dating apps are so often used for hookups, users inadvertently begin viewing themselves as sexual objects. We become susceptible to comparing our bodies and feel dissatisfied because we don’t look like a perfume ad. So instead of ending up with a hot date for Valentine’s Day, we are once again back at the junk food and feel-good movie scenario.
With all the reasons given above, does this mean you should stay away from dating apps to save your Valentine’s Day? No, of course not. There are wonderful, interesting people on these apps and if you have time, patience, and hope, you should wade into the ocean and try to get a fish. However, be aware of the various pitfalls of dating apps. You can enjoy Valentine’s Day just as much without a date. After all, it’s a day to celebrate love and there are plenty of ways to do that even when single.